Woah, 3.5 years. That is a long time to not blog. I guess life just got really crazy over the past few years….or I got really lazy, ha! Either way, I decided after my whirlwind of a year I needed to write another blog.
This has been one of the most challenging, yet rewarding years ever. 2017 started the same as the rest. Nothing out of the ordinary happened until one day in March I found out we were expecting! A baby! Another blessing? We thought we were done. God didn’t!! It shocked us tremendously but we knew that this little baby was being placed in our lives for some reason. At this time we didn’t know exactly what that reason was.
This was a pregnancy unlike ANY pregnancy! I was off work quickly in the beginning due to heart issues...then once those started to stabilize a bit I ended up having to have a surgery in order to save my babies life. That was the most painful, scariest procedure I have ever gone through (including recovering from a c-section). Maybe it is because no painkillers were allowed haha! I was scared every second of this pregnancy, fearful that something tragic would happen because of how hard it was on my body to hold her in. I suffered infection after infection, and complication after complication…..but I continued to pray. I prayed daily, put holy water on my belly religiously and just hoped God would allow our baby to live and me to be ok. There were many moments of doubt, question and fear. I had wonderful family and friends try their hardest to help me think positively. It didn’t always work….
Somewhere in the middle of this pregnancy we found out my father in law was ill, very ill. We didn’t realize just how quickly God would take him. We found out in July he was ill and he passed away in August. It was absolutely tragic. We didn’t understand why it happened - and still have a hard time understanding. Brandon and I started to think that God placed the baby girl that I was carrying in me for a reason…..to bring happiness to the Hawrot family. We realized Grandpa George was going to be her guardian angel, and therefore we decided to have her be a part namesake to him. We were able to tell him before he passed that she was going to be named after him. His face was priceless when we told him. I will never forget that moment as long as I live. Alivia GEORGIA!!
Right before I had Alivia - through a planned c section, I was a NERVOUS wreck. I dreamt of George. He appeared to me in a dream and told me not to worry that he would be right there the entire time and she was going to be beautiful. The c-section came and my doctor and staff did a tremendous job. The second I heard her little cry I cried!! I couldn’t help myself. The 9 months of fear, pain and worry resulted in a beautiful baby girl. I couldn’t believe it.
After having Alivia, my health still isn’t where it should be. I have had numerous visits to the hospital, including visits by the rapid response team and overnight stays. I struggle daily, have many appointments I am going to on a weekly basis, yet I have this most amazing little family. Alexa, Aliyah and now baby Alivia to love and adore. I love seeing the girls with Alivia, and I love seeing Alivia talking to Grandpa George (staring in space, reaching out and laughing). When I look into her little eyes I couldn’t imagine her not being here - proving that God knows what He’s doing!! Through my suffering at times I wanted to push God away, almost be mad at him....but I have learned the importance of reaching for Him instead.
So there you have it, a year unlike any….started with fear, lead to the death of a very important man in our life, and ended with a beautiful blessing! It goes to show you that you never know what God has in store for you, but you have to trust in Him. You have to realize that even when you don’t understand, He does - and He doesn’t leave your side. He walks the path with you…..and in my case, he carried me through. He, and some great family and friends that I will never forget.
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